For me, moral injury describes my disillusionment, the erosion of my sense of place in the world. The spiritual and emotional foundations of the world disappeared and made it impossible for me to sleep the sleep of the just. Even though I was part of a war that was much bigger than me, I still feel personally responsible for its consequences. I have a feeling of intense betrayal, and the betrayer and betrayed are the same person: my very self.
Calling my experience “disillusionment” does not describe how I feel about those with whom I shared military serÂvice. Nor have I become disillusioned with the ability and dedication of the U.S. military to meet specifically identified objectives.
What began to erode for me in Iraq in 2004 was my perception of good and evil. What I lost was a world that makes moral sense.